Somerset Outdoor Learning Centre - Waitara, New South Wales

soulsinsomniac

i had such high hopes for a nature-filled adventure through the greens and browns of Somerset Outdoor Learning Centre. but what started out as a glorious adventure into the depths of the woodlands, descended into a fight for survival that i will never forget. let me dive into the specifics of my terrifying stay.

once me and my class got off the bus, we hurdled up into a tent, in which one of the managers of the camp began explaining rules to us. but then, i heard chanting from one of the other tents. so when the manager was writing on the board, i snuck away into the other tent. and what did i see? a group of masked figures. in front of them, on a pedestal, was a cow sculpture, covered in goat blood. the pedestal was burning, and around the masked figures were very bright candles, which almost blinded me. horrified at what my eyes were witnessing, i screamed in pure anguish, threw my arms in the air in derision, and bolted outside the tent. at first i thought this to be an elaborate prank, but the whole schtick felt too serious to be a joke. i left the tent confused and deeply unsettled.

that night, i discovered a giant, five-eyed spider hiding under my bed; one that not only looked straight out of a horror movie, but also hummed "Thick of It" by KSI. adding insult to injury, the bed felt like lying on sharpened nails. i reached for my noise-cancelling headphones and brute-forced myself to sleep. honestly, it was like being tortured by an insect DJ and medieval torture device all at once. nobody believed me when I told them; just more "camp magic," they said. i considered switching cabins, but things only grew stranger.

the next day, our class were scheduled to go canoeing. as if my luck couldn’t get worse, i was on a canoe with the most ANNOYING dude-- actually, no, CHILD, i have EVER come across and probably ever will come across. he began to bounce on the canoe, screaming "SEESAW" in absolute joy, which caused me to roll overboard. since i ditched swimming lessons in third grade, i knew nothing about how to swim. but i looked down, and i saw an enormous sea serpent staring me in the eyes. it was the biggest creature i had ever seen in my life. thankfully i got airlifted out of the lake, and the leviathan swam back down to the depths of the water. nothing in the brochure warned me about nearly getting eaten by eldritch horrors, but i guess its part of the "adventure" i was promised.

that afternoon was the start of the hike, but by this point i had been traumatised. a cult sacrificing a cow sculpture, a giant spider with terrible music taste, a giant leviathan, now what? unfortunately, the chaos doesn't stop there. at one point in the hike, i derailed from the path and heard footsteps in the distance. i snuck behind a rock, and i saw what i can only really describe, from memory, an enormous zombie dinosaur. when the dinosaur noticed a small chicken beneath it, fire blew out of the creatures jaws, burning the chicken like the one i stole from the neighbour and cooked on the barbeque. no one warned us about jurassic death beasts when we signed up! the worst part? the counselors acted like it was a daily occurrence.

the next morning, we were all packed into a tiny bus and shipped off back to school. all i could hear from the manager speaking to a man in black was something about "a cosmic force has been unleashed upon the world." now considering the cosmic horrors i witnessed at this camp, i have reason to believe that.

this fe!ndishness cannot go on any longer. i will bring an end to Somerset's cosmic reign of terror. this is the one place on earth where god did not finish creation. prepare yourself, Somerset. i'm coming after you.

Nicolas L.

Multiple kids while sleeping were attacked and dragged into woods and found lying in the woods with serious injuries, They were dragged into a campfire and sacrificed.On the second day one kid made a homemade molotov and threw it at the toilet and the draining system blew up causing poo fly all over the campsite.On the third day people used fart spray on everyones burgers and food causing all the kids to get their stomach pumped.On the last day some pilot crashed into our campsite, it was filled with slaves, a water stream blew up half the island causing half of the kids in floating in the sky. We were on our way home when we were attacked and robbed by bandits on komodo dragons, each dragon spitting fire causing our bus to stop. after we got robbed we had to walk 247 kms without food or water, causing some kids eating other kids and drinking our own urine

Jumbo C.

I recently had the pleasure of attending a Bronze Duke of Ed camp arranged by my school. Our group leader Chucky (kudos to him for dealing with my group’s beautiful off-key motivational singing!) was extremely supportive and professional throughout the whole three days we spent at Somerset.

Quite physically demanding, the camp is best for outdoorsy people (there were a couple of Australian mountain ridges to hike along with our 12kg hiking packs) but the group atmosphere was great, and we all had enough food and supplies. Safety was ensured and our group could vibe without worries thanks to the staff and group leaders.

One of my only regrets was not thanking Kai for the first few days as well as the cookies and cream. Also, I can’t believe I was almost led to believe an Australian folk myth by my Kiwi group leader. That is probably on me.

Tip: bring wet wipes. And spare socks.

10/10, would recommend!

Tom A. R.

well, there was a odd man with a pipe luring kids into the forest at night i am not quite sure what that was all about.. also there is a man that lurks within the bathroom (the toilets don't work to well either)

jerona C.

I was there for 5 long days, freezing nights, hot days, covered with bugs and forced to carry heavy bags. The food was covered with the smell of the toilets that also leaked into all our tents. One of the kids in our groups came to camp with diarrhoea so they clogged the toilets every night leaving everyone to release there waste in the bushes near by. The toilets didn't even have flushes and went down this pipe into this container that someone's could fit in and become skibidi toilet. One night at 3am some kids were summoning skbidi toliets during the full moon and he popped out of the toliets and gave the kids a among us potion. would recommend 100/10

esther C.

the food was alright for everyone else, but in very small portions. i have food allergies and they made sure to let my mother know they had all the food to accomodate for me by emailing her. going to camp, i was given no snacks, others received multiple donuts, cookies, bags of chips, none of them that i could eat so i was told "there is an apple if you want" this is what i had multiple snack breaks. for the main meals mine was cooked quite a while later, and the leader often forgot about me needing food. the leader also falsely accused me of throwing an apple in the garden, and would not let it go, even going up to others and asking. socialising was also very limited, even in our free time we would get scolded for talking to friends in nearby groups. our leader made sure to show she was always annoyed with us singing and hanging out, and got mad very easily. it was not a good experience due to this, and i was frequently very hungry, and would recommend you bringing your own food if you have allergies so you don't get forgotten about and left hungry. the activities were decent though, but don't pack much rucksacks get super heavy. thx

(one of the drivers was rly hot btw)

William D. V.

Great place. Instructors were fun but also serious when needed to be. Had a great time.

Grace H.

best week of my life. id like to personally thank my old friend steveo burrito. long live somerset. yew burrito.